Growing up, I loved Saved by the Bell. When I say “loved”, what I really mean is “obsessed.” I didn’t miss an episode. I took a very personal (some would say emotionally disproportionate) interest in the lives of Zack, Kelly, Jesse, Slater, Lisa, and Screech. I learned a lot from that show. In fact, some of lifes most important lessons were taught to me through the shenanigans of the Bayside crew.
Don’t take caffeine pills.
This is a very important lesson I learned from Jesse. In order to fulfill all of her educational and extra-curricular activities, Jesse turned to caffeine pills. Boy was that a mistake. At first, everything was working out perfectly- but within 10 minutes, Slater was on to her secret and warned her of the consequences of over the counter drugs. Zack, however, ignored the problem at first because he was about to get rich off of the newly formed girl group made up of Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse. There was exercise equipment and leggings in the music video- it was pure magic. Unfortunately the pills caught up to Jesse and she imploded. Zack was there for her in her darkest moment, who can forget the beauty and pain in her rendition of “I’m So Excited”? “I’m so excited…I’m so excited…I’m so….I’m so….sobbing….SCARED” Because of that episode, I have never experimented with over the counter caffeine pills. I never have had to deal with the fallout of a caffeine addiction and not once did I have to miss a performance of my girl group. Thank you Jesse Spano, thank you for your bravery.
Ducks are our friends, we should protect them.
Oil developers come to Bayside and at first, everyone is excited about the money that comes with oil. Only Jesse worried about the consequences. At the same time, each student at Bayside had adopted an animal that lived in the nearby lake. Tragedy struck when there was an oil spill that flooded the lake. All of the student’s animals were killed- including Zack’s duck. The moment when he realizes the pain greed causes was one of the most poignant moments in television history. His subsequent protest was powerful and inspiring. Because of this episode, I have a deep and abiding love for ducks (despite being viciously attacked by one as a child). We need to protect our ducks from oil spills people! Also, we should probably be worrying about oil spills in the ocean because turtles and dolphins are our friends too. This show was truly before it’s time.
Rock bands tear friends apart.
The whole gang is in a rock band. Casey Kasem even narrates this episode. It’s priceless. The after-school band the gang plays in for fun suddenly makes it big and becomes MAJOR. They are living life fast and loose. Until a slutty manager sets her eyes on Zack and convinces him that he is the real talent in the band. Zack is easily convinced. The band falls apart. Can you imagine? I mean, their most popular song was titled “Friends Forever.” These friends, these best friends, turn on each other and go their separate ways. Kelly even becomes a nun! A nun! Luckily, Zack comes to his senses and leaves the skank behind to reunite with his friends. All is right and well. The music is genius. This episode may have taught me one of lifes most important lessons which is- if you join a rock band with your friends then all of your friendships will fall apart. I was saved from that pain because I watched this episode and never joined a rock band (and believe you me, there were offers made).
These are just a few of the important lessons I learned from watching Saved by the Bell- I also learned a lot about relationships (Zack and Kelly were meant for each other), and what makes guys cool (hint- it’s long hair and reeebok high tops). Had I not been a fan of the show I probably would have ended up a caffeine pill addicted oil company executive who plays part time in a rock band with my ex-friends. Wow. Thank you Saved by the Bell. Thank you.