Cotton Candy Broke My Phone

Cotton Candy

I may look delicious but I WILL BREAK YOUR PHONE!

We all know that I have a major minor cotton candy obsession. Cotton candy has always treated me well. It’s been there to comfort me when I need it, congratulate me when I’ve done a good job, and had always made life seem a little sweeter. But last Friday, cotton candy turned on me and I don’t know if we can go back to the way things were before or if this has tainted our relationship forever.

Last Friday, after work (which had been incredibly stressful) I was sitting down, chatting with my Mom, and enjoying a very satisfying tub of cotton candy. I was finally starting to relax when I started getting text messages. Of course, I pick up my phone and started texting back because I didn’t want to be rude. Well, I guess cotton candy was pretty ticked off that I was no longer giving it the attention it thought it deserved so it decided to show me exactly how it felt by deliberately breaking my phone. How, you ask? By doing no less than turning my phone’s keyboard into a sticky mess of brokenness.

Seriously cotton candy? You are a jerk. I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now. My B and S buttons still stick and don’t work at all half the time. And don’t even try to turn this around on me like it’s my fault for texting with sticky fingers. That is so like you. You knew I was unable to resist  you and you used that against me to break my phone and show your true colors. You may be pink on the outside but your soul is black as night. I can’t believe you would do this to me. After all we have been through. Remember the bad break-up of 2004? Remember the celebration of a new job? Remember weeknights? Did it mean nothing to you? Did you ever even love me at all?

Listen cotton candy, we are both upset. I think it would be best if we took a break. I need some time to figure out how I feel about this. I mean, if my phone starts working properly again maybe we can put this behind us but if I have to get a new phone…..I just don’t know. And I think we both know that if we get together again then it won’t mean anything. Those will only be empty calories. But if you’re cool with that, I can probably be cool with that. I mean, empty calories never hurt anyone, right?

17 thoughts on “Cotton Candy Broke My Phone

  1. “Seriously cotton candy? You are a jerk. I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now…That is so like you.”

    I’m sorry for your painful breakup, but this is great! Consider your mojo intact. Question: Where in Texas do they just have tubs of cotton candy for sale? I wasn’t aware of this addiction.

    Reply
      • Man, I was just going to ask the same thing about where you can buy cotton candy! Like, not a baseball game or the fair or the circus, but in a regular store?! That makes me ecstatic… now I need to find some. Because, yes, I too love cotton candy. Like I should be surprised at this point.

  2. I think ur relationship with cotton candy is one of those that is too addictive to ever let it go. I recognise you try to stop it, but… I don’t think it’s going to be too succesfull. I’m sorry to tell, you will probably go back together :P Maybe if you introduce your phone to cotton candy they could become friends :)

    Reply
    • You’re right. I’m too dependent on that relationship. We are going to have to try to work something out with the phone. Thanks!

      Reply
  3. I don’t think it was cotton candy’s fault at all! I think the blame lays with your phone. That sneaky phone is a turncoat. Trying to get you to backstab Cotton Candy. Teach it a lesson and get an iPhone.

    Reply
    • Interesting way to think of it…..I’m going to need some time time to figure all of this out.

      Reply
  4. isn’t that just like spun-sugar…turn ur back for a second and it acts out unforgivably….

    Reply
  5. Wow Be A Lifehacker, now I wondering how you could be so selfish. Here cotton candy was giving you its undivided attention and you completely blow it off with something better that happens to ring or buzz by.
    This blog was so one-sided I am not sure what I believe in anymore.
    If you guys’ love can’t last, whats that to say about me and Cheez-its. Or my sister and Hershey kisses.
    The world is in peril.

    Reply
    • No, I’m sure your relationship with Cheez-Its will go the distance. And don’t worry. Cotton candy and I are back on as of last night. All is forgiven.

      Reply
  6. haha this made me lol my hands are sticky because im eating those amazing funsraiser bars right now. yummm

    Reply
  7. Just wanted to know I enjoy your posts! My little brother, Mr. Educlaytion got me hooked on your blog and I am officially addicted! We even discussed you at breakfast the other morning..scary, huh?

    Oh, and I completely appreciate cotton candy breaking your phone. I have gone through multiple phone batteries, etc. due to my children all using it as a teether. Just as bad.

    Keep up the great blogs!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much! And I am more than happy to be a topic of conversation at breakfast although I imagine I would be better suited to a brunch/lunch situation….

      Reply

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