We all know that I have a major minor cotton candy obsession. Cotton candy has always treated me well. It’s been there to comfort me when I need it, congratulate me when I’ve done a good job, and had always made life seem a little sweeter. But last Friday, cotton candy turned on me and I don’t know if we can go back to the way things were before or if this has tainted our relationship forever.
Last Friday, after work (which had been incredibly stressful) I was sitting down, chatting with my Mom, and enjoying a very satisfying tub of cotton candy. I was finally starting to relax when I started getting text messages. Of course, I pick up my phone and started texting back because I didn’t want to be rude. Well, I guess cotton candy was pretty ticked off that I was no longer giving it the attention it thought it deserved so it decided to show me exactly how it felt by deliberately breaking my phone. How, you ask? By doing no less than turning my phone’s keyboard into a sticky mess of brokenness.
Seriously cotton candy? You are a jerk. I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now. My B and S buttons still stick and don’t work at all half the time. And don’t even try to turn this around on me like it’s my fault for texting with sticky fingers. That is so like you. You knew I was unable to resist you and you used that against me to break my phone and show your true colors. You may be pink on the outside but your soul is black as night. I can’t believe you would do this to me. After all we have been through. Remember the bad break-up of 2004? Remember the celebration of a new job? Remember weeknights? Did it mean nothing to you? Did you ever even love me at all?
Listen cotton candy, we are both upset. I think it would be best if we took a break. I need some time to figure out how I feel about this. I mean, if my phone starts working properly again maybe we can put this behind us but if I have to get a new phone…..I just don’t know. And I think we both know that if we get together again then it won’t mean anything. Those will only be empty calories. But if you’re cool with that, I can probably be cool with that. I mean, empty calories never hurt anyone, right?