You Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Your Mommy Is A Ho.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus


I love Christmas music. It puts me into excellent spirits and makes me feel like a kid again. With one exception- one major exception. I HATE the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. When I say “hate”, I mean that when I imagine hell this is the song playing in the background.

I know a lot of people who think this song is “cute”. Oh really? Cute? You think it’s cute that a little kid catches his Mother kissing what he believes to be Santa Claus i.e. not his Father and isn’t upset about it? You think adultery is “cute”? I mean, had that happened to me when I was a kid I would never ever have forgiven my Mother for kissing someone other than my Father. From that day forward, I would have referred to her by her first name and when the Ludacris song  “Ho” came on, I would point to my Mother. Seriously. I’m very bothered that this kid isn’t bothered that his Mom is totally cheating on his Dad. Sure, we the audience, know that she probably isn’t cheating on his Dad, but the kid doesn’t know that and he’s not even a little fussed. C’mon kid. How warped are you that you think adultery is funny? “What a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.” REALLY? Because, let me tell you kiddo, it would not have been a laugh. It would have been messy and ugly and heart-breaking. Also, someone probably would have killed someone else and then because you witnessed the whole thing you would have become terribly desensitized to violence and then become a serial killer a la Dexter. Is that something to laugh at kid? I don’t think so.

I give this song two bah humbugs and a grinch.

What are your most hated holiday songs???

16 thoughts on “You Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Your Mommy Is A Ho.

  1. bearyweather says:

    The worst Christmas song I ever heard, I heard for the first time this year … so bad, I did not even catch the name of it. It had something to do with leaving pickles out for santa, making pickle cookies … pickles, pickles, pickles.

  2. educlaytion says:

    “…two bah humbugs and a grinch” is the greatest ranking I have ever heard anything given!

    While sitting at a funeral luncheon this morning my sister told me what your post was called today. So I just want you to know that you’re popular in certain church basements in Southwestern Pennsylvania. I thought you should know.

    You’re also one of the special people I made a video tribute for today Hope you have a great Christmas!

  3. Christina Adleman says:

    Haha, dude, I am so glad someone else hates that song too! What you stated in this post is exactly what I think when I hear that song… And it always made me sooo angry when I was little and heard that song before I knew the truth about Santa. I was no idiot of a kid, and in my mind that was just sick and wrong. What is this world coming to? JK, I know the song isn’t intended to be adulterous, and in truth it isn’t, but I still don’t like it, for any reason. So yeah. : )

  4. cappy @ writer's block says:

    I hate the song Baby it’s Cold Outside. It sounds kinda date-rapey.
    Maybe I’ll write a blog post about it hahaha.
    “How to get date-raped.” Kidding.

  5. OpentoAdventure says:

    It looks like even the Internet doesn’t want people to know about Jimmy Butler’s “Trim Your Tree”. If the first comment did actually make it through, you should still burn both comments after reading them. I still don’t even want to talk about it.

    In case the first comment didn’t make it, allow me to reiterate – have a very merry & wonderful Christmas!! I hope Santa brings you everything you want. If he doesn’t, blog about it & I’m sure that we your readers will chip in where we can to help give you the rest.

  6. OpentoAdventure says:

    “Trim Your Tree” by Jimmy Butler. I don’t even want to talk about it. Do yourself a favor & burn this comment after reading it.

    Merry Christmas, have a wonderful holiday! :)

  7. cooper says:

    Hmmmm…sounds like an issue to me. The Michael Jackson version is especially scary.

    For me if I never hear Springsteen’s “Merry Xmas Baby” or Feliciano warbling “Feliz Navidad” or Grandma getting run over yet again (die already), that would be just fine.

  8. xmichra says:

    I agree with you 100% on this one! I had said the same thing, where if dad had seen mom kissing santa, there would be a totally different tone to this tune! I’m thinking it would have to turn country.

  9. aka gringita says:

    PS, Either Mommy’s a ho, or Santa’s a sexual predator who can get into any home anywhere. Which one of these was supposed to make my Christmas more merry?

  10. Drea says:

    Sorry, I know I shouldn’t but I laughed!

    My most hated holiday songs? Anything by Cliff Richard!

  11. aka gringita says:

    “Christmas” Songs I Loathe:

    Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    Annoying AND disturbing, as you have so eloquently articulated.

    Santa Baby
    An ode to greed and avarice; all the things that warm the heart about the season. Not.

    Dominic the Donkey

    dogs barking Jingle Bells
    Seriously, who thought this was a good idea, and why does it continue to get played?

    Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
    Ok, I can listen to this MAYBE once a year, for the kitch factor. Only for the line, “They should never give a license to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.” Then I am So.Very.Done. with it.

    All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
    Uh huh, me too… so you stop making that annoying sound. Was this actually meant to be cute? Because it’s really not.

    Feliz Navidad
    Bland lyrics, but repetitive and the tune is a little too catchy. Becomes the earworm that makes me want to cut my head off to make it stop.

  12. The Edmonton Tourist says:

    As a kid this song did bother me. It wasn’t until this year when I thought ” ohhh Santa is played by the Dad!” it took me 40 years to figure that one out, and I like to think I am smart! This song diminished Santa’s character. My son informed the entire family at dinner that Santa likes Ho’s. There you have it. A full circle moment. My son is smarter than me.

  13. craig78681 says:

    Burl Ives was a fine man from what I’ve heard, but I cannot warm up to any of his musical performances.

    When your most hated song comes on, or pops up in your mind, you should, with all your might, replace it with this:

    “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
    Only a hippopotamus will do
    Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
    I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy.

    Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
    Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian.


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