Listen, I don’t know why I think about these things. Although, conversely, I don’t know why I shouldn’t think about these things. The moral of the story is that there is a lot I don’t know. Think about it. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you. Unless I am…..am I? Whoa.
My old roommate and I used to text each other pick-up lines for laughs. Also, in case we met a super foxy guy walking down the street- that way we knew exactly what to say. So, I’m pretty much an expert on pick-up lines. I mean, I’m not an expert on using them, but I am really good at reciting them at parties and funerals for laughs (because if there is one place you need to laugh…….) And although they are generally cheesy and ridiculous I have to admit there are a few that would definitely work on me.
1. Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice. Listen, if he makes an Alice and Wonderland reference, I am ALL IN.
2. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, just a sparkle. Oh you.
3. Hello, I’m a thief and I am here to steal your heart. Stealing is against the law, but you have to admire a guy who would risk going to jail for you. That’s called love ladies and gentlemen.
4. You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me. Rhyming=way to my heart.
5. I know we’re not in Professor Flitwick’s class, but you are still charming. A Harry Potter pick-up line?! Marry me now.
6. Hey… Didn’t I see your name in the dictionary under “Shazaam!”? Why yes, yes you did.
7. If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty. That’s poetry y’all.
8. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you. Come on. I mean, wow. Quality stuff. How can you not say yes to that?
Please don’t judge me. In an effort to not lose your complete respect, I will post a list of pick-up lines that would NOT work on me tomorrow. But before that, feel free to share the pick-up lines that work on you. It’s oddly liberating.