It’s a Grammy post y’all!!!!! I know it’s been a while but after the last Grammy post, my Grammy started asking me how to log on to my “blurg” and how can she read what I write about her on my “bloof”. Needless to say, I needed to put a stop to that line of questioning immediately. Only trouble could come from my Grammy finding out how to read my “bloof.” And by “trouble” I mean total and complete nuclear winter in our relationship. And no one wants that.
But- I think the coast is clear for now. Just don’t mention the blog to her, ok?
Me: Hello Grammy!
Grammy: Honey, what is your plan in case of tornado??
Grammy: You don’t have a plan??!
Me: Sure I do, you just caught me off guard.
Grammy: Well, what is is?
Me: Hide in my closet.
Grammy: That’s hardly a plan. Do you have a flashlight?
Grammy: Go get it. We are under a tornado watch right now.
(I look outside and see nothing but sunny skies)
Me: Ok. You know, it’s not even raining. It’s like, really sunny. The wind isn’t even blowing.
Grammy: Aren’t you watching the weather channel?
Grammy: Well, we are under a tornado watch.
(I turn on TV and see that she is, in fact, correct.)
Me: Ok, I see that. But……it’s still looking not at all tornado like outside.
Grammy: Hmm. Well, just get your flashlight and turn on your weather radio.
Me: I have a flashlight but I don’t have a weather radio.
Me: Don’t worry. I’ll be ok.
(It didn’t even rain that night and we definitely didn’t have a tornado)
Grammy: I want to get you a baseball bat for protection.
Me: Ok. I can handle that.
Grammy: Will you use it?
Me: Only if I’m attacked at home.
Grammy: Oh. So, you probably won’t bring it to work?
Me: Uh. No. Why would I need a baseball bat at work?
Grammy: You never know who’s going to get on the elevator with you.
(My Mom and Grammy were talking on the phone)
Grammy: Honey? Do you hear those voices?
Grammy: There are people whispering, someone else is listening.
Mom: Uh, I think it’s just our dogs playing in the background.
Grammy: Oh. Right. Hahahahahahahaha!
Grammy: Have you been writing in that blurg about me?
Grammy: I know what it’s called. I just want to give you something to write about.
Me: You’re the best.