Bad Idea Kid

Musical Chairs

Recently, a young man (and I do mean young- he was about 6), attempted to use his stellar genetics to recommend himself to me. It went a little something like this…

Kid: Look at my big muscles!

Me: Oh wow! You *do* have big muscles. 

Kid: And I have perfect vision. 

Me: You’re like a superhero!

Kid: And yesterday, they tested my hearing and it was perfect too. 

Me: Congratulations!

Kid: I bet you want to marry me. 

Me: Say what now? 

Obviously, it’s not going to work out between us, but it got me to thinking, what if we used factors like vision, hearing, and muscle mass to choose our partners? But then I thought about how I wear glasses, frequently don’t listen which I pass off as a hearing problem, and am not particularly “muscular”. So, maybe let’s not choose partners based on that. Because if we do, I’m totally the kid who misses the chair in a game of musical chairs.

34 thoughts on “Bad Idea Kid

  1. I was a server at a catering gig once when I was 18, and this (couldn’t have been more than) 10 year old came up to the table, took a look at me, and threw out a “how YOU doin?” like Joey from Friends. He then ran away, and pretty much hid the rest of the night. I think it’s because the other servers behind the table started laughing immediately. Poor kid! But it was so cute of him to do that! I still remember it 10 years later.

    Wait….that means he’s legal now, doesn’t it? LOL : )

  2. Ive been concentrating on the wrong age group all this time?? I knew there was a reason I kept coming back to read your blog! heheh ;)

  3. This made me chuckle, I work in schools, and the amount of times you see kids trying it on with the female staff is unreal!

  4. That kid is cute, he had me laughing. You only have to wait 12 years – legal is legal. And it’s always good to have a back-up plan.

  5. IKEA is so good at marketing, wouldn’t surprise me if they planted that kid to pull at your heartstrings and hopefully…your wallet! :)
    Robyn Michele Levy

    • Or it could be McDonalds because I would have bought that kid as many happy meals as he wanted.

  6. I’ve married twice to guys considerably younger than me, but I draw the line at 6. Of course, I’ve never been proposed to by a six-year-old.

    I have also heard that people choose their spouses when they resemble their mother or their father (doesn’t matter the gender necessarily – for instance, I remind my husband somewhat of his dad and he reminds me somewhat of my mom). It works out a lot of the time, not always. Sometimes, it’s a combination of mom and dad, or some other person prominent in your upbringing like a grandma or an aunt.

    • Interesting. I’m not sure how I feel about that…I mean, I have AMAZING parents so it would be nice if my partner had similar characteristics but I don’t know that I want them to be too similar…..

  7. Scientists say people choose their mates partly based on smell. Worked for me so far! My Mister has the best scent…next to a perfectly done steak, that is. Just don’t go overboard with the sniffing. You shouldn’t grab a guy and stick your head in his armpit. Rather, try to get him walk in front of you when there’s a bit of a breeze. Not only do you get to give him the whiff-test…you get to check out his…jeans. ;-)

  8. That kid sounds great. I wonder what he’s watching his father do at home? His Dad must flex for his mommy all day, grin widely to show off his perfect teeth, and respond to comments made in another room, even when they are not directed at him.

    In other words…run! DOn’t marry the 6 year old, no matter how hot and muscular, or how good his hearing is!

  9. Awwww but at least he saw something in you that was very special and wanted to marry you.
    Like a prince proving himself….
    just wait a decade and half to make it legit!!

  10. Little Dude: Per audacia ad astra. Keep it up. You’re off to a good start!

    GotC: Sic transit gloria mundi, so I’m with you on this one. Also, I was the kid that tripped and knocked the recorder player off the desk while *still* not getting to the chair in time.

    Yeah.. it’s latin day at Castle Paladin :)

  11. Haha. I used to mention my stellar sense of smell and adorable gums on dates. It never seemed to work out, and I have no idea why.

  12. I am pretty sure my husband married me based solely on the fact that I laughed at his jokes.


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