Today, my friends, is St. Valentine’s Day. Instead of lecturing you on who the real St. Valentine was (or wasn’t) and the sticky end he came to (pun intended because there was a stick involved), I’ve decided to share some of my absolute favorite things about Valentine’s Day. I’ve always loved this holiday and not just because I think it’s hilarious how a nasty execution spawned a lovers holiday. I mean, sure, that’s part of it, but I also like other things.
1.Chocolate is everywhere. This is never a bad thing. Also, if you eat it on strawberries it’s probably good for you.
2. Flowers are everywhere. It’s lovely to walk into a store and see Spring when it’s definitely Winter outside.
3. Valentines are so delightfully corny. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, the cornier the better.
4. Teenagers are making out EVERYWHERE and it’s really fun to make disapproving faces at them and remark on their lack of modesty. It really makes one feel like a grown-up.
5. Loads of people are wearing red and then I can say things like “Does your shirt represent the blood of St. Valentine?” and make people pretty uncomfortable. Sometimes, playing Debbie Downer can be fun.
6. Any reference you make to the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is both unwanted and necessary. History is fun!
7. Champagne y’all. Lots of it.
8. I get to hear Boyz II Men songs all day long.
9. There is guaranteed awkwardness to witness and participate in. I will have blog fodder for weeks!
10. The candy hearts with phrases on them. They say such nice things! It gives my self-esteem a little boost and that’s quite the accomplishment when I’m also concurrently stuffing my face with candy. Well played candy hearts. Well played.
Happy Valentine’s Day dearest readers! I love you with my whole aorta!