While shopping for furniture…
Me: These solid brass doorstops have mice on them!
Captain Thoughtful: Obviously we’re getting them.
Me: And these lamps have giraffes!
Captain Thoughtful: Put them in the cart right now. Right. Now. They’re going home with us.
Me: This crib is only $50.
Captain Thoughtful: $50? Why? Was it made by babies?
Me: I married the right person.