Here Is A Thought On A Friday.

This thought was specifically requested by my Aunt J – who is not only one of my favorite people on Earth, but is also the woman who officiated our wedding which means she brokered God’s blessing for us and basically I’m pretty sure I can’t deny her anything without risking eternal damnation or dissolution of my marriage. To be honest, I’m a little murky on the details.

Long story longer, my Aunt J requested my thought on Moms who cry when their adult children have their hearts broken – not just because they are sad for their kids, but because they really liked the boyfriend/girlfriend. She is asking for a friend I’m sure.

I am 100% not qualified to have a thought on this particular situation. However, that has never stopped me before. Here is what I suggest any person in this situation do. All of these things will comfort me you and make you feel better drunk.

1. Wine slushies.

2. Harry Potter marathon.

3.  Eating your feelings (I recommend Whataburger, but that’s just me)

4. Wine slushies.

5. Performing entire musical scores by yourself.

6. Drive down an isolated road and scream your guts out in the car. (Also, great practice for when you might be in that horror movie someday)

7. Puzzles.

8. Gin. (The game or the booze, your choice)

9. Watching literally any Lifetime movie. (This will put the fact that your life is less murder-y into perspective)

10. Focus all your efforts on getting Grammy to say “penis”.

I had like 10 more, but then I realized they were all pretty much hard liquor centered. And I didn’t feel like it was appropriate to make those kind of suggestions to my Aunt J . And by “inappropriate”, I mean I don’t want her to get drunk unless I’m there with my laptop so I can document every second of it. For research. For my book. Of which I would happily share a small but not insignificant percentage. (Probably it would be insignificant actually, she once stole a Chili’s giftcard from me in White Elephant at Christmas and I feel the pain of that loss every time someone says “baby back ribs”, which is more often than you would think).

I hope this made you laugh Aunt J. If it didn’t….drink a wine slushie and then read it again, it totally will then. Maybe drink two.

9 thoughts on “Here Is A Thought On A Friday.

  1. Gin, yes this sounds about right. I personally like Moscow Mules which combines my favorite things Gin and Ginger. Though number 10 in your case is excellent.

  2. I completely get Aunt J’s point…but from the other side. My parents love my now husband so much they were devastated when we broke up a few years ago (before we got married). I think my mother was crying over it. They were jumping for joy when we reconciled. I half joke about the fact that they like him more than they like me.

  3. Nevermind, I found it. I always do that! I search and search for something and the minute I tell someone I can’t find it, I find it. Oh well, at least it’s found

  4. Very funny! I’ve looked up and down for the ‘like’ button and cann’t find it. Either way, I enjoyed reading this. :)

  5. “5. Performing entire musical scores by yourself.”

    Oh, this goes RIGHT on the bucket list.

  6. The Lifetime movie thing can be a double edged sword….can also push you right over the edge !

  7. Great. Bertie Wooster entertains somewhat similar thoughts in respect of aunt Dahlia!

  8. “The renewed shock had nearly made him spill his drink. He drained it quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right.
    “Freedom,” he said aloud.
    Trillian came on to the bridge at that point and said several enthusiastic things on the subject of freedom.
    “I can’t cope with it,” Zaphod said darkly, and sent a third drink down to see why the second hadn’t yet reported on the condition of the first. He looked uncertainly at both of her and preferred the one on the right.
    He poured a drink down his other throat with the plan that it would head the previous one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second to pull itself together. Then all three would go off in search of the first, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well.
    He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that, so he sent down a fifth to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support.”
    -Douglas Adams.


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