Today is a big day for Captain Thoughtful – any well wishes would be appreciated. For my part, I have a plan in place that involves cunning, shenanigans, Kreutz BBQ, laughter, and beer. Like, all of the beer. All. Of. It. I would give you all the plan details but the good Captain reads this blog every time I post because he’s supportive like that and my shenanigans would lose their shenanigans-ness if he knew about them in advance. Here is a hint – it involves beer.
Good luck today my love! You are going to knock all of the people’s socks off (which is why I’m bringing extra socks for everyone in case you were wondering what all those socks in my purse were for).
I LOVE YOUR GUTS.
Have we ever talked about why Captain Thoughtful is called Captain Thoughtful? It’s because his superpower is thoughtfulness.
I had one of the worst nightmares of my life the other night. I was thrashing and shaking in my sleep but wasn’t able to wake myself up. Captain Thoughtful woke up, figured I was having a nightmare, and shook me awake. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. It was a truly horrid dream.
First thing the next day, he went out and bought me a dreamcatcher.
I mean, c’mon y’all. He is the most thoughtful person to have ever thoughtfulled.
And now I’m love mush again…..
Y’all, do NOT recharge your old phones, because when you do, you will find all the texts messages your now husband sent you when you first started dating and you will relive your entire relationship and you will turn into a pile of love mush.
I know this because it happened to me last night. Basically, my old blackberry is like a love time-machine and it took me back to the days of 2011 when I met Captain Thoughtful and he sent me a text referencing Sydney Carton and I knew I was a goner if he was using literature to woo me. And then I turned into a pile of love mush. He literary wooed me y’all. He is my perfect match in every way and has never once judged me when I yell a spell from Harry Potter at the television screen.
See? I’m all a-mush.
This is the type of thing that happens almost every night at home.
Me: Honey, there is a mosquito on the ceiling.
Captain Thoughtful: I got this. Whoa! There are two of them up here! I’m going to smash them so hard. It’s going to be like “Face Off.”
Me: That makes no sense.
Captain Thoughtful: I know.
Me: I feel like, though, like, I want to make it make sense.
Captain Thoughtful: Right?!
Today is Captain Thoughtful’s birthday and as agreed upon I must say “Pop” instead of “Soda” today as agreed upon in our pre-nup. Just kidding, we didn’t have a pre-nup we just had like a pre-marriage talk about how on on my birthday he has to say “Soda” and on his birthday I have to say “Pop”.
And now I’m thinking about the time we went to Ohio and the lady taking our order asked me what kind of “pop” I wanted and I literally had no idea what she was asking me. My first thought was “Hop on Pop? Like Dr. Seuss?” but I figured that was wrong and so I just turned to Captain Thoughtful and was said something along the lines of “Words that are English…..but I can’t comprehend….” and then he told her I wanted a Coca-Cola and I was like “OH! Pop is soda.” and everyone there looked at me like I made them sad.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Captain Thoughtful! I promise to order “pop” at dinner.
Also, I love you more and more every day. More and more than words can say.
Last week, Captain Thoughtful was out of town and I missed him very much. And also, I realized how differently I hear things when he’s home with me. When he’s home, a loud noise in the night causes me to curse the neighbors children who apparently wear bowling balls for shoes. When he’s not home, a loud noise in the night causes me to grab a baseball bat and have 911 pre-dialed on my phone.
I think that’s called perspective, but I prefer to think of it as CaptainThoughtfulcannevergooutoftownwithoutmeagain.
Captain Thoughtful: Do you mind if I watch the Spurs game while you play on the computer?
Me: Play on the computer? Play on the computer? I’m not playing on the computer. I’m working to expand my social reach so people will read my blog and then pay me to write for a living.
Captain Thoughtful: Do you mind if I watch the Spurs game while you work to expand your social reach so people will read your blog and pay you to write for a living?
Me: I’m blogging this.
Captain Thoughtful: So, was that a yes on the Spurs game….???
We ended up watching the Military History Channel. Did you know that one of George Washington’s Generals was once arrested for “wenching”? Because I was like “Sounds like his yankee doodle was dandy indeed.” And then I laughed and laughed and laughed.