When I was a kid, I thought sitting too close to the TV made me kind of a badass. Like, who cares if this ruins my vision? If I want to sit close to the TV then I sure as hell will because I am THAT cool.
Someday, someone really needs to explain to me what cool is.
Another things I would like Scientists to work on – houses that clean themselves but like aren’t so smart that they might gain consciousness and try to murder you.
Something I’ve noticed over the last few years of writing this blog is that when I tell people it’s a humor blog, they almost always tell me a joke in response. This is a thing I love.
Here is a joke someone just told me the other day upon learning I wrote a humor blog. It’s a slam on the Cornhuskers but it was told to me by a fan so I think it’s ok.
What does a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan do when his team has won the national championship?
He turns off his Playstation 3.
Boom. Let’s laugh more today y’all.
Where are we with heated roads, freeways, streets, etc.? I can not possibly drive in the snow and ice any more. Can not do it. So, please please work on a solution for this. Right now. Well, actually work on cures for diseases first. Then the snow roads. And also clean water for everyone. And hunger, I don’t want anyone to be hungry. Ok, so cures for diseases, clean water, world hunger, THEN snow roads. And it’s ok if something more important that helps a lot more people comes up first as well. But then you have to deal with the snow roads ok?
Be A Lifehacker
I have a confession – I almost always over-steep my tea. It’s shameful, but there it is. Mock me as you like. I deserve it.
Wine slushies for everyone! That is all.
I’ve always thought that red velvet cake is really just a platform for cream cheese icing.
This week is all thoughts y’all! I added an exclamation mark to that so it sounds more exciting. I think it worked.
On to the thought….
Do people still train to be mimes? Is there a high mime demand? Just a thing I wondered about after watching Sia perform with a mime on SNL. Also, I bet at the SNL after-party no one recognized the mime because he didn’t have his makeup on and then security was like “Hey man. Are you supposed to be here?” and then he was like “Yeah, it’s cool. I’m Sia’s mime.”
How many times can you watch Elf, before it becomes, like, TOO many times? Asking for a friend.
In general, I try not to brag. I mean, I hate to brag, but I’m kind of the best at not bragging.