Grad School For Real

Y’all remember when I was afraid of dinosaurs and aliens? Those were the good old days. Now I’m constantly afraid of the following:

1. Not perfecting APA formatting.
2. Forgetting to upload a paper to blackboard because I’m old and we used to just turn in hard copies of our papers.
3. Getting a ticket for jaywalking on campus.
4. Looking like an idiot in front of my cohort.

Last week I had a dream that I had forgotten to attend an entire class for most of the semester and had to learn the entire class before the final or else get kicked out of my grad program. The class I forgot? Magic. I forgot to go to magic class. That’s how I knew I was dreaming. I would NEVER forget to attend magic class.

Grad School For Real

Things I have learned since starting grad school:

1. Gummi worms are necessary. Although I have a hypothesis that any candy will do.

2. Sleep is not a real thing. It is a thing that used to be real but is no longer real. Kind of like dinosaurs.

3. There is not enough coffee in the world.

4. How to use emojis. This is the face I use most often. :?

5. I have also become very skilled at denial.

So, totally worth all the money so far.

Grad School For Real

I know a lot of people find classical music helpful to listen to when they are studying or writing a paper. Not me! I find metal the most helpful. It really helps me alleviate frustration. Also let’s be honest, when writing a paper, headbanging is going to happen either way so it might as well be done to music instead of against a wall.


Here Is A (Late) Thought On A Friday

After pulling an all-nighter writing a paper my brain to mouth filter completely disappears. It’s some kind of science thing I think. I should not be allowed to leave my house when this happens because when I do…..this.

Professor: My grandson can eat peanut butter off a spoon.

Me: Yeah but to be fair, so can my dog.

Awkward silence…..

Me: But he doesn’t have opposable thumbs so your grandson is still ahead of him on that one.

And that is the exact moment I failed that class. Learn from my stupid awkward mistakes y’all and don’t speak when your filter is not functional.