If You Find Him Never Let Him Go

**Mush Alert**

If you find a partner who can hang in there with you through food poisoning and at the end of one of the worst most disgusting days of your life, that person looks you in the eyes and tells you that you’re beautiful, never ever let that person go.

Captain Thoughtful – I will never ever let you go. Thank you for thinking I’m beautiful even when I just puked my life up for 17 hours straight.

We Are A Go For Break Up Protocol

On Tuesday, my childhood and teenage love dreams came to a screeching halt and then exploded and then got thrown in the garbage.

Miss Piggy and Kermit broke up on the same day Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale announced their divorce.
WHY!!!?????? NOOOOOOO!!!

I am instituting break up protocol immediately. Fried food, ice cream, only watching movies and reading books with happy endings, sad music, and just so much ugly crying. And also wine. Lots of wine.

I’ll be at home in my pajamas trying to reconcile all the things I loved as a child and teenager if y’all need me.

To Dr. Captain Thoughtful

Today is my darling husband’s birthday so sit back and prepare yourselves peeps for some full on lovey dovey shit. It’s totally unavoidable because I married the loveliest man in existence.

To Dr. Captain Thoughtful,

Happy birthday my love! Batten down the metaphorical hatches because I plan on attacking you with so much love and thankfulness today – and also probably some unexpected rogue bear hugs. It’s one of my favorite days of the year because it’s a day to celebrate you and you’re my very favorite! I can’t even begin to express how much I love your guts and how thankful I am that somehow, you love my guts too. I am going to cherish the hell out of you today. You’re going to be like “Whoa. Maybe too much cherishing?” But I’m just going to keep cherishing away and thanking my lucky stars that I get to be married to you. You’re like fancy cheese – you just keep getting better and better. I love you more and more every day, more and more than words can say. Let’s eat so much ice cream and laugh until we get the hiccups today, ok?

All my love forever and ever and then after that,

Your wife

A Note To My Husband

Dearest Husband,

First of all, you are adorable and I love your face. Second of all, please don’t let me watch Unsolved Mysteries, Disappeared, or I Killed My BFF ever again. While I enjoy those shows, I think we both know they make me a little…..high-strung? Suspicious? Insane? All of those things at once plus a hearty dose of ridiculous. Please don’t let me convince you, or myself, that watching those shows will make me better prepared to avoid being kidnapped or murdered by my best friend. Also, if I ever bring up any suspicions I have about our neighbors being serial killers, please ask me if I have watched any of those shows, the answer will probably be yes. Kthanksbye!

Hearting you all day every day,

GotC aka your wife


Today is Memorial Day, and while I am extremely grateful for the sacrifices of those stunningly brave women and men in our armed forces, I’m thinking of something else today.

I’m thinking about how one year ago, I was playing Batman with my cousin Aiden. I’m thinking about how Aiden and Captain Thoughtful played legos and how thrilled Aiden was with the spaceship they created. I’m thinking about how hard we all laughed playing pictionary. I’m thinking about how one year ago I hugged my Uncle Tom for the last time.

Today, one year later, I’m thinking about them. And I’m so very sad and so overwhelmingly thankful for Memorial Day one year ago.